We have a thread for a bunch of other stuff like this, just not specifically tailored to something funny you may read, so here goes

Quote:A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland
Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood pub late in the evening. The officer noticed a man (Luke Sandery) leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.



He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night). Then flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a random breathalyser test.

To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's intoxication.

The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy".

Who is the author of that?

I got it in an email from my sister, but there was this at the bottom,

Quote:IMPORTANT: This email remains the property of the Department of Defence and is subject to the jurisdiction of section 70 of the Crimes Act 1914. If you have received this email in error, you are requested to contact the sender and delete the email.

can't be sure who the author is

(12-31-2010 12:25 PM)Sarge499 Wrote:  I got it in an email from my sister, but there was this at the bottom,

Quote:IMPORTANT: This email remains the property of the Department of Defence and is subject to the jurisdiction of section 70 of the Crimes Act 1914. If you have received this email in error, you are requested to contact the sender and delete the email.

can't be sure who the author is

I'm so reporting your sister to the Department of Defence so they can do a mind wipe like in MiB.

They do that through your TV now actually.

Grim Wrote:So I just bumped into a black guy in the dark and the only thing I could think of to say was, "Sorry. Didn't see you there."

Quote:What's the difference between a dead baby and a hamburger?

You don't sleep with a hamburger before you eat it.

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles on the floor?

Nail it's other hand to the ground.

Kids in the back seat might cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.